Why Things Don't Work Out

Ever wonder why something so sensible...doesn't make sense? Without divulging too much information, two particular incidents occurred this past month where I was sure it made the most sense to have it exactly the way I would have hoped. I was also pretty sure that it was part of God's plan. I mean why else would he allow me to experience what I did, all to say, "not now"? When it was pretty evident, in my opinion, that it was now more than ever. It made more sense than anything has ever made sense in my life, but it didn't come to fruition. You know, like traffic lights. They have a natural progression. It's green, turns yellow, and then red. It's never green, yellow, then green. That doesn't make sense. But I know God doesn't work like that. Often, I forget His plans are so great that even the thought of them are so much higher than I could ever imagine. Suffice it to say, I'm really learning what it means to take hold of what I know I'm supposed to do, and the other things will take care of themselves. So, I can't say why things don't work out they way I want them to other than the fact that maybe what I need to be concerned with is not what the future will be like, but what I'll be like in the future. And the only way to be sure I'll be the way God wants me to be is to be that way now.

The Grass Won't Water Itself

I'm often reminded of this phrase each time I cross my lawn. Growing up I didn't really do much watering since we had sprinklers that did the work for us. Occasionally, the sprinklers wouldn't reach a certain part of the grass and that part was taken care of by my mom or dad who would spend time deliberately watering the dry area.

At my current residence I don't have sprinkler per se, but I have one of those "above-ground-wet-your-car-and-not-really-water-all-that-well" sprinklers. It wouldn't be so bad if, when the timer shut off, the water pressure wouldn't cause the faucet to leak a ridiculous amount of water thus causing the bill to rise to an equally ridiculous amount. So...I have to water it manually. I despise this process since it takes time to spend each day, or every other, to deliberately do that which most homes and most people don't think twice about it as their timers take care of everything. Needless to say, my grass isn't the greenest....as a matter of fact, it's not even the yellowest. All that being said I am, without explanation, thankful for the rain. The rain does that which I'm usually too lazy (or forgetful) to do. I'm always amazed how green the grass becomes after the rain and I think to myself, "Wow! Water really does help!"

I was reading Isaiah 55 because my wife mentioned it the other day to me and so I decided to spend some time in my namesake (not really, but I like to pretend it is). Verse 8 and 9 are probably familiar to most people who have been around church, but it was the following verses that caught my attention.

"As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it." - Isaiah 55:10-11

After reading this, I was reminded how often my good intentions fail. I intend every time I cross my lawn to water it so that it will be green and grow (and so that my landlords don't get upset). Like the rain and snow, the earth cannot help but be nourished by it. My lawn can't help but be rejuvenated and filled with vibrant life and newness the water brings.

There are many thoughts and parallels that I could probably use for my life, but in a time where I'm trying to be more patient and trying to figure all that God is doing around me, there's a better understanding the previous verses now bring.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." - Isaiah 55:8-9

I don't have it all together. There, I've said it. I'm not always responsible (observed by my yellow lawn). Half of the time I'm not even sure I'm doing the right thing. These verses don't excuse irresponsibility, but rather remind me of how important it is to be deliberate about taking care of that which I can, and letting God do the rest (which is most of it anyway). I can water that lawn all I want, but ultimately it's God who makes it grow. It's humbling to know He's way smarter than I'll ever be, but equally humbling that He would use someone as messed up as me.

I Hate Complaining

When I realized that things in which we despise in others are rather apparent in our own lives, I began to see my life from a different perspective. It seems like we have a complaint for everything. Usually accompanying those complaints are solutions that would only cause more complaints or just simply a lack of solution all together. Most of us despise complainers. When someone complains about how we did something, or how we like something, or criticizes our effort, or has issue with our motive, we become rather offended. No one enjoys it when someone complains. Employers don't like when employees do it, parents are embarrassed and frustrated when their children do it, and spouses....well...let's just say aren't excited when they here another whining voice in their home.

I'll admit that I complain......a lot. I don't know why I did it growing up, but I know it's why I do it now as an adult. I've gotten much better at avoiding it, but every once in a while it creeps back into my life. As I thought about why I complain, I began to think about how it originates in our minds. My understanding is that an occurrence happens to our disliking, which then triggers a reaction that results in a verbal disapproval and demanding of some sort of entitlement to which we believe we deserve. So, basically....Complaining = Sense of Entitlement.

As I wrestled with this concept, it became clear to me that my upbringing, my culture, my country, and my generation as a whole believes that we are entitled to certain things. Living in this country, we believe that we are entitled to freedom, liberty and justice. I would take it one step further and say that we believe that we are entitled to happiness as well. Due to this sense of happiness entitlement, we think that we get to have it our way and when it isn't, we issue the complaint. But this isn't only true of our country or even this generation (as some older folk would argue). I believe it has been an issue for a very, very long time.

Whether you subscribe to belief in the Bible, you cannot deny it as a historical document. God's chosen people, the Israelites, were led out of slavery in Egypt and into the desert and ultimately into freedom. God brought this nation out of an oppressive state and into true freedom. God provided shelter, He provided food or manna (which is also a necessity for you W.O.W. nerds), and He provided guidance and leadership so long as they trusted God's appointed. They were given all of these things yet they still complained. So much so that some complained that they wanted to go back to slavery, back to oppression, back to their rut. Why? Because at the root of our selfish ways is this sense of entitlement - that we deserve that which we so desire.

It may seem like a stretch to say that when I complain about which way the toilet paper should roll, or whether or not the laundry finds its way into the hamper, I am engaging in my sense of entitlement. I'm saying to you and to anyone else for that matter that your way is dumb and mine is better. Why is it better? Because it will make ME happy. Why is that better? Because MY happiness trumps everything....even yours.

So, I'm trying to complain less these days (although this is up for debate). I don't want to have this sense of entitlement that I see played out in every part of today's culture. Not because I want to be better or think I'm better, but because it's not a product of a life that is truly grateful or a life that is truly redeemed.

I came across a Frederick Nietzsche quotation the other day that says:
"I might believe in the Redeemer if His followers looked more Redeemed."

I don't subscribe to much of what Neitzsche writes, but this truth could not have been more descriptive of me and my lifestyle. When I scanned the past few weeks I ran out of fingers to count the ways in which I wasn't living a redeemed life, mostly because of the complaints that have piled up. I don't want to feel entitled to that which I know I don't even deserve. I've been given one life to affect as many lives as I possibly can, all for the sake of the One to whom I believe we are all indebted. Not in an obligatory or monetary way (although this could be a possibility), but in a form of utmost gratitude and adoration. When we understand this, I believe those complaints finally began to fade.

I only hope that it continues to fade in mine.

I Have 13 Minutes

The title of this post means nothing except that it is the amount of time I have to finish before I attempt to get my work out on. I am known for some good things (yes, this is up for debate), but not known for writing (no debate there). Which is odd since this is a blog and most people who have a blog write better than the average. I like to consider myself a writer for the below average out there who are doing battle with those haters constantly correcting our spellig and grammer (I know that bugs you but you can't change it because this is my blog...HA!).

My wife always tells me that if for my posts to mean anything to anyone, I must have something to say that's worth reading. If that were the case I should just turn this computer off. I agree with her, but I continue to post to see if I can actually have more than four followers so that one day I might prove her wrong (probably not).

I wanted to share this video that I came across from Overlake Christian Church in Washington. The point of sharing is mostly for laughs, but the message is nothing but the truth. Just thought I would share. Enjoy!

9 Years Ago

It was 9 years ago when I saw my beautiful bride walking down the aisle and to this day have continued to walk through this life with her. We've had ups and downs, good times and sad times, but the bond between us has been the strength that keeps us united.

It doesn't seem like 9 years is a very long time, but in a society that sees commitment as conditional, it actually is a long time. Have you ever heard of the "seven year itch"? I hadn't heard it in this context prior to some research. I was reading some statistics on marriage and divorce (I teach at a marriage retreat) and the numbers indicate that it should actually be called a "four year itch" since the divorce rate is at its peak during the fourth year. After the fourth it progressively reduces seeing a significant decrease between years nine and ten.

Considering that these statistics play no role in whether or not someone gets divorce, it helps shed light on issues unresolved or reoccurring disputes between couples. It seems that it's during those first few years, when you're really getting to know this "stranger" you called "friend" a lot better. The first year or two seem like bliss and all the things that are annoying, you seem to dismiss. But come year three and four and having not worked on resolving any of those issues, you are now at each others throat and wanting to part ways. It's really sad to me because it only highlights the importance of healthy communication in marriage (which can be learned). It's pivotal in sustaining and strengthening the marriage and aids in the maturation of couple.

I have no real reason for posting this today other than to say statistics do not dictate the health of a marriage, but they do explain why so many fizzle. I believe much of it has to do with our conditions as oppose to the conditions God places on the marriage. I also believe that we as a society no longer understand what it means to be committed to something. Our yes only means yes until we "feel" otherwise. There is always a condition. It's these conditions we feel entitled to and deserve. Maybe because of our freedom, maybe because of our so called rights, maybe because we've completely twisted the purpose. I really don't know, but what I do know is that 9 years is another number that I celebrate. I don't celebrate the longevity, but it's quality, it's health, and it's commitment to unity. And I believe that to be the reason we married in the first place. Happy Anniversary Buddy (my wife)! I love you!

Classic Question

I was driving today when a song came on that hit me square in the face. This is a big deal since new songs never do this. It usually takes someone like me 10-15 times for a song to make sense to me and even then I'm not sure I comprehend it fully. I don't know if it's my poor comprehension skills, but nevertheless this song stuck.

The song was talking about living among the least of these; the weary and the weak....and it would be a tragedy for me turn away...all my needs have been supplied...when I was dead you gave me life...how could I not give it away so freely? The chorus sang out with a catchy yet convicting ring...I'll follow you into the homes of the broken...follow you into the world...meet the needs of poor and needy, God....I'll follow you into the world.

Being a pastor (of sorts), I can say that the biggest question that perplexes most followers of Jesus is, "what is God's will for me?" It's a good question if you really want to know, but not if you don't care to listen. Not if you're unwilling to step out on the edge and risk. I remember reading a book about how really stoppable people who call themselves followers of Jesus really are (McManus). He contrasted how unstoppable the first followers of Jesus were, not because they were stronger or smarter, but based solely on the fact that they were willing to risk. They were willing to be unsafe. To not have the safety net to catch them if they fell.

To this day I ask God time and time again, "God, what is your will for me?" I've slammed my head against the ground for 10 years trying to figure that out. I read something a few weeks ago that has begun to help me deal with this classic question. It said, "God will guide those whose hearts are open to follow. Be faithful in what God calls you to today and he will lead you tomorrow" (Erre). When I read this I felt frustrated because I feel like I don't even know what God calls me to do today! I must suck if I can't even figure that out. But I read some more and the author proceeded to say, "We know enough of God's will from the Scriptures to be busy enough. Today I am called to be a faithful husband, a loving father, a diligent pastor, a courageous witness, a prayerful worshiper, a law-abiding citizen, and an appreciative son. That is plenty. I have no idea where I will be in five years from now, and I have ceased caring. I am going to be faithful in what God has called me to do today, knowing that tomorrow he will direct me."

To me, it begs the question, "Am I passionately committed to living out those few things?" Because if I am, then I believe I'll be in God's will. It won't always be easy, or feel good, or be without pain. It won't always be fair, or fun, or clear, but I know it will be right. As of today, I'm really considering the pursuit of a doctorate degree, but I have no clue in which area of study I should be considering. I am trying to cease caring where I'll be in five, four, three, two or one year from now. It doesn't mean I won't want to know, because I do, but it does mean I want to be faithful and focused on what I'm doing now and be passionately committed to those things.

I mentioned that song earlier....it's written my Leeland Mooring and it hit me square in the face today because his desire is to follow God where no one else wants to follow Him.....where it's not comfortable, not safe, not secure. He wants to follow God and meet the needs of those around him who have nothing. He's been given much and how can he himself not give so freely? I want that to be me. Although some would say I'm not, I am very selfish at the core. I don't want to be this way because it's not the way Jesus taught and it's not the way He was. It makes Jesus' words, "Whoever loses his life will find it", make even more sense. It's about giving it away and being passionately committed to his teaching. Not just on a Sunday morning, but in my daily living. If I can do this, then I believe I will truly be in God's will.

It's a Good Day!

Prefeace: I'm prefacing this because it may seem a bit scattered brained. I wrote it in two sittings and I didn't want to delete the first half.....so......yeah. If it doesn't make sense then oh well.

I remember back in December of 2007, Jess and I had just returned from a trip to Mexico with her family and it must have been the next morning when she woke me and had a this huge smile on her face an uttered the words, "It's a good day!" What a loaded statement! I immediately thought, "Crap! I forgot something I was supposed to remember." But then she said it again, "It's a good day" and she held up what looked like, through my blurred vision, a thermometer. I had to keep blinking for the image to actually register in my head. It was a positive pregnancy test.

We had been trying to get pregnant for what seemed like two years, but she would say a year and a half. We had come to the conclusion, albeit a difficult one, that we may not have kids. We were finally getting to the point where we were both fine with whatever God wanted for us even if that meant not having any children. So, to have this blurry wand waving in my face and being told it was a good day was one of the best surprises ever.

This made me think back to that day and how happy we both were. What I realized though was that we were already happy. It wasn't until we were both satisfied with whatever God willed for our lives did He give us one of the best gifts, my son. I asked one of the girls at Panera how her day was going and she gave me this audible sigh and rolled eyes look. Needless to say she wasn't happy. I didn't get into any lengthy discussion about her job, but I could tell she didn't want to be there anymore. It made me think of how often I let my circumstances dictate the way I feel and the way I live. I was pretty disappointed at first when I thought we'd never have kids, but I realized that sometimes that happens. I'm pretty disappointed when they don't have my hazelnut coffee brewing. Shoot, I'm pretty upset when there is no more Splenda! But it shouldn't be a reason for me not to enjoy the life God has given me. People like to disassociate there spiritual lives with their real lives and I don't understand it. God has given me life abundantly and I'm to enjoy every bit of it because I see it all as a gift from Him. Even my frustration, and disappointments.....they're all from Him. I've realized that sometimes God's will looks nothing like mine until my heart and mind is ready to submit to His. I've realized also that sometimes my life looks nothing like Jesus' because I'm using my eyes for perspective as oppose to His.

I'll never forget that day Jess told me that it was a good day because it was.........but so is every other day because God made it that way.

Compared To What?

I catch myself saying or at least thinking this statement often. If I said it half as much as I thought it I'm sure my face would be in pain due to the affliction it endured at the hands of my wife or anyone else for that matter (she's not as violent as I make her sound....except when I tickle her.....then she'd probably gouge my eyes out).

I think the reason we (or at least I) like to make comparisons is that it's our best way to gauge our comprehension. I don't comprehend things well, especially when reading. I remember being in school and taking exams or even worse, SAT's, and dreading the reading comprehension portion because I knew I sucked at it. I would tear through the math portion like a wizard and when it was time to read my brain shut down. It was like it was on strike. I remember sitting in my high school library taking the SAT's and my heart racing and feeling like it was going to leap out of my chest and onto the floor. At that moment I would have paid for that to happen so that I could stop the reading comprehension, or in my case, lack thereof.

All that to say comprehension is different for all of us and it takes some of us great lengths and long stretches to reach. But I believe we do our best comprehension when we adequately compare things in which we are familiar. Familiarity brings comfort. This can be a bad thing too, but for comprehension sake it's good. Which is probably why most of us when someone asks, "how are we doing today", we immediately think in our minds, "well, compared to yesterday things are pretty good." Compared to yesterday, compared to today, compared to last week. Compared to him, compared to her, compared to me, compared to you. Comparisons can also be bad especially when trying to live up to them. That kind of comparison will leave us feeling inadequate for the rest of our lives, but comparisons can, and often are great for comprehension.

One of the coolest things that I've learned through comparisions is that there are some things you can't compare nor can you fully comprehend (I know this seems contradictory to what I had just finish saying). Sure you can match them up and place them along side one another, but in reality there's no possible way to wrap our minds completely around it. Take God for instance. Sure we can know about Him, we can learn about His character and even pinpoint some attributes that help us understand Him. But to fully comprehend, to fully know God is to know more than God....and that, if you subscribe to God being all-knowing, is impossible.

I've found myself after studying and learning about God that there really is no comparison to Him. But when I try, I end up becoming more in awe of who He is. When I realize how small I am compared to the rest of the world, and how small the world is in compared to the Sun, and how small the Sun is compared to our solar system, and how small our solar system is compared to our galaxy, and how small our galaxy is compared to our universe it can be quite overwhelming. What's even more overwhelming is that there is no comparison to God. No thought, no imagination, no make-believe or fantasy, no physical realm or tangible object compares to the Creator of it all. Now that's something to be overwhelmed with and nothing, no relationship and no person compares to the greatness of knowing Him.

"Nothing Compares" Third Day
I've heard all the stories
I've seen all the signs
Witnessed all the glory
Tasted all that's fine

I see all the people
Wasting all their time
Building up their riches
For a life that's fine

I find myself just living for today
'Cause I don't know what
Tomorrow's gonna bring
So no matter if I rise or fall
I'll never be alone, oh no

Nothing compares to the
greatness of knowing You, Lord
Nothing compares to the
greatness of knowing You, Lord

Sinful Propensity

The other day I was reading a book and it talked about our propensity to sin. I wasn't sure if the word 'propensity' was the proper expression until I begun to define what it meant. I always thought propensity meant tendency. Our "tendency to sin" seemed like a reasonable statement, but I kept exploring. I love etymology! Looking up definitions often leaves one having to search for an even better understanding so I knew I needed to search deeper. When looking up the etymology of a particular word you cut to chase. So, I looked up the etymology of the word propensity and discovered that it means "a disposition to favor", "prone to", and "inclined". However, further reading I came across the Latin word propendere, which means "incline to, hang forward, weigh over". Broken down, pro meaning "forward" and pendere meaning "hang".

My first thought was, "okay, this doesn't help me at all." Have you ever done that? You work, search, and explore to find out that you did it for nothing and then people who are sage-like will say something profound like, "it's not the end result that matters, but the process that counts", or "it's all about the journey". I hate that. Mostly because I am guilty of saying that to people (if I have ever said that to you please forgive me). I know, I'm lame. However, I kept thinking about what it meant to "hang forward". I looked it up to see if it was a common phrase back in the day, but I had no luck. Hang forward......hang forward.........what does it mean?

It was then I had this picture of when I'm at the gym stretching after I had just finished running on the treadmill. I would widen my stance and stretch my hamstrings and reach down towards the floor. As this image was in my head I began to think that this is what it means! Hanging forward means to have the posture of bowing. It's like a bowing down to that which is in front of me. It was then that it also hit me that to have a propensity to sin meant that I have a natural inclination to bow down to my sin. It becomes the object of my affection and in turn I then have the tendency to give my sin a position of worship. I began to dwell a bit on my own depravity (this took me a while). My discovery was that often times I forget what I'm really like. Why? Well, because I've become pretty good at pretending my sin is no big deal, that I have it under control, or that it's not as bad others. It was then I realized my reasoning was completely flawed. No matter the type of sin, when we do sin we are hanging forward or bowing down to it as if it were God. We give it a place of worship. Instead of God, I have given sin a place in my heart, in my mind and in my soul that I might worship it. I realized then my sinful propensity. In turn it brought me to my knees and I've never been so broken in my life. It was in that state of brokenness I realized I was right where God wanted me to be. I have no doubt in my mind that Jeremy Riddle was in the exact place when he penned the song Sweetly Broken. It's taken on a new meaning for me and I hope it does for you as well.

At the cross You beckon me
You draw me gently to my knees, and I am
Lost for words, so lost in love,
I’m sweetly broken, wholly surrendered

Quality Writing

I've never been one to choose my words skillfully. I grew up in a family that didn't have a high regard for diction or articulation (that sounds mean.....it's not meant to be). Often, I found myself making words up on the fly (I still do that). I realize the more I read, the more I'm appreciative of gifted writers. I have a couple of friends who rank amongst those gifted scribes, but think their talent is subpar. I have a few old dead guys whom I enjoy as well. I also love an artist/musician who can phrase words (albeit simple words) and resonate with so many different people.

I remember being in the car about 9 years ago or so, and Jessica (my wife) and I were listening to some music and she pulled out my cds (yes, the ones that were stolen :/). She pulled out the sleeve for an album called "Learning to Breath" by Switchfoot. Both of us were very familiar with Switchfoot's songs, but never spent the time reading their lyrics. I think we spent that whole trip reading the lyrics on the rest of that album and the "New Way to Be Human" album as well. We had a new appreciation for Jon Foreman and purposeful writing..........quality writing.

I wanted to post these lyrics because it brings me back to a time when I finally understood the meaning of that particular song. If you ever wanted a second chance, if you ever needed a second chance, you get the opportunity start over and learn to breathe. From a guy who has messed up in his life many times, being able to say that I have a new life with God, that I have another chance to live the way I was meant to live, it's no wonder the lyrics say, "I'm living again, awake and alive, I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies." Brokenness is often the state in which we listen most. It's often the place in which we realize our true blessings. We may not know what to say, or how to say much of anything. I know growing up I didn't. Even now I have difficulty. But as the lyrics read, "This is the way that I say I need you, this is the way that I say love you, this is the way that I say I'm yours." Whatever way you say it, it's your way..............and I think it's the quality that counts.

Learning to Breathe by Switchfoot
Hello, good morning, how you do?
What makes your rising sun so new?
I could use a fresh beginning too
All of my regrets are nothing new
So this is the way that I say I need You
This is the way that I'm

Learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that You and You alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies

Hello, good morning, how you been?
Yesterday left my head kicked in
I never, never thought that
I would fall like that
Never knew that I could hurt this bad

So this is the way I say I need You
This is the way that I say I love You
This is the way that I say I'm Yours
This is the way, this is the way

Character Counts

It seems like the more I learn about the character in others it reveals more about my own. This isn't a judgmental post, but more of an inward reflection. I started this blog to figure out someway to pour out on paper, or in this case electronic paper, thoughts about my life and the what God is teaching me. I know some of my posts tend to be rants more than reflections, but who asked you anyway? (I kid, I kid!) That being said, one of the things I've been learning more than any other subject in the last few years has been the topic of character; yours, mine, God's. Here's what I've learned so far regarding the first two:

Yours: It's masked well, but much is revealed through conversation and attitude.
Mine: Unfortunately it's like an on/off switch....that's broken. I'm working hard at trying to figure out the wiring because I keep experiencing short circuits.

The two are very similar. One is just easier to detect than the other. As most of us know when you get to know another person you begin to establish assumptions about one another. You know what they might say, how they might think, and what they might do in situations because you've spent time with them. You've learned their methods. You've learn their style. You've learned their consistencies (good and bad). The more time you spend with them the more likely it is for you to think about them when you are away from them. I'm not only talking about significant others, but friends in general do this as well. As we learn more about one another, we discover the true character of the person. As we know more about one another, some of us begin to hold on another in high esteem. Why? Well, I think it's because we admire them. Maybe we even want to be like them. Why? Maybe because there is something different about them that we wish was evident in our own.

When I think about how much time I might spend with an individual for these reasons, I wonder........do I desire that same amount of time with God? Have I spent the time truly getting to know God and His character. I realize from experience with my friends that I can't know God's character without first spending time learning about Him. I would probably take it even one step further. Like the knowledge we gain about our friends and the admiration that follows, I believe that the only reason we worship God is due the knowledge we have of Him. Without knowledge of God, without the pursuit and study of his character and nature, without time spent getting to know how great and awesome He truly is, I can't worship Him. I won't worship Him.

It saddens me to think that there have been times in my life where I've stopped. There have been moments in my life where I've sat idle in my study of God thinking I was worshiping Him with all of my mind when I really wasn't. I thought I was, but I look back now and see that I was just going through the motions.

I realize that this post started off about character and has now ended up on the topic of worship, but hopefully you can see the direct correlation between the two. I honestly believe you can't have one without the pursuit of the other.

Can't Complain....Right?

"I can't complain" is a common response to the question, "How's it going?" I hear it often enough that I deemed it blog-worthy. I asked a friend the other day how life's been treating them (I know this is a lame question because I really didn't care)? Anyway, their response to me was, "I can't complain." But immediately they proceeded to complain about their life situation, their kids, their company, the food they were eating and how busy there were that they barely had enough time to sit there and complain (I didn't invite them to sit, they decided to do so on their own volition). All I could think about was wait.......didn't you just say, "I can't complain"? And now you're complaining? And now I'm complaining because you duped me into thinking this would be a conversation I would actually like to have, but instead you lied to me and then proceeded to share things I couldn't care less about.

Don't get me wrong, I'd listen if I he had told me "not good", but I distinctly remember him telling me, "I can't complain". As I endured the agonizing 20-minute gripe fest, I began to think, when is it okay to complain? Complaining can be valid, but everyone hates listening to complainers (I know this to be true because my wife tells me all the time, which is probably why she walks away while I'm talking).

What justifies a valid complaint? I'm sure there are many things to complain about and we probably can justify every one of them. I think the most valid complaint is when you purchase something, have expectations of the item you purchased, and then those expectations go unmet. Anytime this occurs I think your complaint is valid. But what about when it's something you didn't purchase?

Case in point: I visited my "office" and ordered my regular items for the morning. The lady at the register had given one of those items to me for free (sweet, right?). The other item I actually paid for had been prepared in a way that didn't really meet my expectations (not good). Bewildered, I paused (This seemed like an eternity to me). Do I tell her it's not the way I like it? I mean she just gave the other item to me for free. Can I complain when she gave me the more expensive item for free? I stood there for a few seconds really perplexed (you would only understand if you knew how I am with my food). I looked up, smiled, and said, "thank you!"

My question: Can you complain in this situation? Is it wrong to complain for free stuff? When can you complain? What's your take on complainers? Are you a complainer? Please...feel free to complain. :)

It's On Me

Have you ever been out to grab a bite to eat and when finished ordering the cashier kindly says, "it's on me"? Forget that it is probably not ON them, but ON the company rather, and this act is undoubtedly considered stealing, but you reply, "Thanks" nonetheless.

I find that when you frequent certain places (which I never do) you get to know the personnel really well and they almost become like friends who you don't have to call (ever) or even remember their name (because it's on their shirt). As a matter of fact you don't even have to go into deep conversation about anything that might drain you before you've wrapped your tourniquet and injected your morning crack.......i mean caffeine/sugar. It's almost the ideal friend situation. Except that we aren't friends. They know nothing about you. They barely know what you do for a living and some conversations are just repeats from yesterday. But what I find most amusing about this particular relationship (acquaintance) is that they value your business. Even if they are not the manager, or his/her assistant, they deem you deserving of a free beverage or free treat "on them". And even if you aren't deserving, they offer it to you regardless.

This week I visited my local eatery and for three days in a row I received something for free. I couldn't believe it! I responded with gratitude because there was nothing I did to deserve this gift. They don't know me, they probably don't even know my name, but they fed me and gave my drink when I thirsted and not just once, but multiple times.

I'm always searching for deeper meaning when there is no depth to a situation (which is why i bump my head a the bottom of the pool), but in this particular case I wasn't even searching and there God reminds me that he's given me something greater than anything in the world. Tomorrow is Good Friday. God the Father deemed it necessary because of sin, because of my depravity to offer the gift of His Son. I'm in no way trying to downplay this most tragic, yet beautiful event by comparing it to my free beverage and treat. But the similarity between of the two speak very clearly to me. I'm so not deserving, but God offered His Son. I'm so not deserving, but Jesus offered up His own life.

"He gave up his life because He willed it, when He willed it, and as He willed it." - Augustine

It's like he said, "It's on me!" When i really consider this act of love it becomes too unbearable for me to handle. My only hope is that I respond appropriately with my life.

No Worries...

I find myself saying this statement quite often. Someone will apologize for something that's usually no big deal and I'll fire off a "no worries" response. It's quite presumptuous for me to think they've been agonizing over this "not-so-dilemma" that I would respond with a "no worries".

So it got me thinking about not having any worries. What a concept! No worries...ever? I try to even fathom that concept and I get worried I won't understand it. In Philippians 4:6, the writer Paul says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." It got me to think about all the other passages that tell us about worrying (i.e. 1 Peter 5:7, Matthew 11:30, and Hebrews 4:15-16). It seems like a great concept, but how attainable is this really?

What I realized, partly through what's been happening in my personal life over the past few months, as well as this past week, is that scripture never tells us to do this alone. It never once says that you will be able to do this by your own power. If it were true, why would we need God? Why would we need His Holy Spirit? I think more often than not I expect, when I read these passages, to figure it out and muster up some kind weak attempt to do as they say. Often what I realize is that I'm weak (I know you're shocked!). I'm not strong enough to not worry. I'm not humble enough to cast my cares and be anxious for nothing. Left alone, I end up pounding my head against the wall in frustration and I completely forget about the power of God's spirit within me.

Philippians 2:13 says, "for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose."

I truly believe part of understanding this takes maturity. I was at the store the other day and I saw a lot of elderly people congregating around these flowers eating some sort of seed from a sandwich bag, which I'm sure are healthy because elderly people eat weird and healthy things. And as I was standing in line waiting to buy my unhealthy items worried about getting home so I can hurry and finish what I needed to do there so that I can hurry up and go to the gym so that I could hurry up and pick up my son so that I could hurry up and hurry, I had somewhat of a tranquil moment starring at these older men and women enjoying these flowers eating their healthy seeds. Whether this is true or not, I believe they had a lot of peace. They didn't seem like they were in a hurry, they didn't seem like they had somewhere to go, they didn't seem like anything was on their mind except how much they enjoyed those flowers and how they really like consuming healthy seeds. So, I began to think a little. My conclusion was I needed be older. Not older in age, but in maturity. I don't think you appreciate or take the time to slow down, remember who you are, remember whose you are, and remember to pray because it's not by your own power, but it's the one who works in me. I don't remember this because I'm immature and I'm too busy thinking about myself.

So, when Paul writes to be anxious about nothing and by prayer bring your requests to God, he's not saying anxiety can be avoided completely. He saying when you rely on God and through prayer to Him, you can have peace through that difficult and often busy time. In my own opinion what often hinders this practice is my habitual reliance on myself and not God. Maybe this is a start for me. Maybe I won't have to wait until I'm too old to finally figure this out. I'm still not going to eat those healthy seeds. Yuck!

Kara = Paula?

I realize that I'm limiting my reader interest with this post, but I think it's pertinent due to the statement by our newest judge on American Idol, Kara Dioguardi. I understand that as a judge you required to share your insight and your opinion about how each contestant performed. Of course, we can always rely on Paula to share some discombobulated comment, but Kara is beginning to sound more like Paula and less like someone we actually care to give ear.

The particular comment she made last night made absolutely no sense (very Paula-like). The contestant's (Danny Gokey) rendition of "Jesus Take the Wheel" by Carrie Underwood was one of the better performance of the night in my opinion and needed little criticism if any. Kara's comment was something like, "Danny, when you hit those big notes you're like no other", "I wish I had 10 minutes of that and none of the other".

So, Kara....let's get this straight...you want 10 minutes of someone belting out the big notes the entire song? That's the stupidest thing I've heard you say. What about setting the song up? What about "lower" or "softer" moments of the song to lead up to those big moments? What about the story?

I could really go on for seconds about this, but it got me thinking(insert sarcastic comment), "What if we followed Kara's advice for everything? What if there were nothing but 10 minutes of big moments and nothing else?"

• Would all roller coasters consist of 10 minutes of straight free fall plummets?
  
• Would firework shows be a 10 minute long finale?
  
• Would movies be 10 minutes filled with every emotion you could possibly fit in that time frame? (I'm sure someone would have a seizure or heart attack after viewing)
  
• Would weddings be 10 minutes? (hey, not such a bad idea)
• Would sermons be 10 minutes? (in your dreams....I'll work on that one)

It's like having a song with one long bridge and chorus, sung over and over without any story and without any verses that actually makes the song the perfect package. She, being a songwriter, should understand this more than any of the other judges. I digress.

Any other scenarios where if you take this extreme suggestion from Kara, you end up with a ridiculous/better/worse outcome? This might get very interesting. :)

"Great Worship!"

People say the weirdest things. I know that I'm probably just as guilty for saying stupid things, which is why this makes me qualified to talk about such nonsense. I've been a worship leader for a few years now and this position is not exempt from receiving weird comments. Now don't get me wrong, being a worship leader has some really good benefits like:

1. You get to choose the songs.
2. You get to decide how many times you'll repeat that chorus.
3. You get to tell people (mostly the church) what to do (like when to sit, clap and be still).
4. You get to leave your back up singers out to dry when you decide to go up an octave without them knowing (that's always fun).

But this job also has it's downside like:

1. People always point out that you messed up the words.
2. People always point out the fact that the words are misspelled on the PPT.
3. People always point out that it's too loud.
4. People always point out that your zipper is down (j/k....God forbid that ever happening).

But the absolute worse thing I'd want to hear are the dreaded words, "Great worship!" Ahhhhh! Nooooo! I must have heard that about 5 or 6 times today. Now, I don't mind when someone says the music was great or you guys sounded great, but "great worship?" I mean are we still calling music worship and worship music like they are the same thing? And I know most of these people have great hearts (well....most of them.....yes.....I know their hearts...don't be jealous), but the problem I have is the obvious. If the music was terrible, which I'm sure sometimes it is (especially when you're playing the wrong song), does that make the worship bad? I know if it was, no one would come up to me and tell me. I guess it's just one of those things. The worst was when someone actually gave us,"Two thumbs up" or better yet when they said, "You guys scored a 10 today". Why thank you Ebert and Ropert for your wonderful review and insightful rating. Or better yet maybe when we are finished with the "great worship" we should move towards the front of the stage like on Star Wars IV, bow our heads, and accept our gold medals for scoring a perfect 10 and for destroying the Death Star. I'm sure God's thinking, "Man, those guys were right. That was great worship!"

What is it that you can't stand people say to you?
How do you respond?
I would love to hear any comments, so please share.

In the beginning.....

So, it begins. I had a lot of difficulty deciding what to name this blog. I didn't want to put my name because it seemed too generic and if I break the law in some way I didn't want to be traced that easily. I'd want a good head start as I evade the authorities. I didn't want the name to be overtly "religious" as to scare away anyone who might flee like I do the sun early in the morning....or any time for that matter (I'm very anti-sun). I realize that the title is related to Psalm 8:4 (which is purposeful), but I chose it because it also has everything to do with the craziness that goes on inside my head. This blog is to help me make sense and process my thoughts, but it's also to share my opinions (although judgmental and Simon Cowell-like at times) in a light-hearted way. If there is any goal that I might have for those that might stumble across this blog (this includes those that I forced to read this under duress) it's that you'll want to come back and read again.