I took my son to the store a while back because he wanted to
go grocery shopping with me. I think he
When we were shopping for groceries, Silas kept asking me to
go visit the toy aisle. After about 20 minutes of asking and me threatening him
to throw out every toy that he has, I finally caved and followed him to this
tiny little section of the store (I’m all bark and no bite). He proceeded to
pick up a light saber and wield it around like a miniature Jedi. Part of me
thought, I’m so glad he loves Star Wars as much as me. The other
(meaner/parent) part thought, we’re not buying that because he has three other
light sabers just like it at home.
I told him we needed to finish shopping and he could carry
the light saber around while we finish, but he was not taking it home. He
proceeded to tell me that we could just buy it. Oh, if things were this simple.
I tried pulling this method out when passing by a home in an area that was way
out of our price range. I leaned over to my wife and said, “We could just buy
it.” She chose to ignore my comment.
As we were headed for the checkout line I told my son to put
the light saber away because we were leaving. Completely disappointed he
proceeded to give me that look. You know the one that you don’t have to teach
them. It’s that innate quality of making
parents’ hearts break. Thankfully, I’m a little cold-hearted and more scared of
my wife yelling at me because we went over budget for groceries that I didn’t
give in to his tactics. So, I made him put it back and we walked out to the car
after checking out.
Sulking in his sadness I buckled his seatbelt and climbed
into the car and drove off. There were a few minutes of silence as we traveled
down the road. I thought for a moment my son wasn’t going to talk to me the
whole ride home. But then I heard it. It was the perfect sound to break the
silence. My son pulled out a harmonica (from who knows where) and began to play
his sad song. I did everything I could to hold in the laughter. I was so
surprised by his outlet for sadness. I don’t play the harmonica and I can’t say
we even listen to very many folk bands that feature this little French harp,
but there he was playing the blues.
Some of the joys of parenting have been brought about by
moments like this. There’s definitely no joy in my son’s sadness, but it’s been
in the way he teaches me. Specifically, it’s been in the way he’s allowed me to
see glimpses into my own life. I’ve learned more about my life, humanity, God,
and everything in between because of this little boy. I realized that day how
much God loves me even in my sulking. Even when I think I know what’s best for
me and deserve to get what I’m asking for, God gently reminds me that His plans
are better than mine and the what I need is much different than what I want.
But I also learned something else that day. I learned that it’s okay to be sad
when I don’t get what I want. Listening to that harmonica didn’t make me feel
bad and give in to my son, but it did stir my affection for him even more. I
think God wants to hear us cry out. I think He wants to hear us sulk a little, be
sad for a time, and play the blues because we’re feeling down. Because it’s in
those moments where the heart is tender.
I know my son’s too young to understand the impact that he’s
had on my life. But the truth is that I’ve learned so much from him, by him,
and through him. I thank God every day for my kids. I’m thankful for the joy I
have in raising them, teaching them, and leading them. But the real joy in all
this has been what I’ve learned from them. [Raises coffee cup] Here’s to
learning from them for the rest of my life!
