Distracted

I’m a pretty distracted person (the understatement of the year). What I mean is that it doesn’t take much for my mind to wander and for my thoughts to lead down a road that is often time-consuming and even unhealthy (candy is my kryptonite). Even today as I attempt to write down my thoughts I’m distracted by the traffic coming in and out of my “second office”. It usually includes a parade of random people drawn by the same addiction to pump caffeine through their veins (no judgment…just simply stating a fact).

So, it is no wonder that I have a hard time paying attention. I never notice my lack of focus until I speak to someone who is just as distracted as me. Talking to people like this is pretty much pointless. You and I know they aren’t listening. I think most people know, but we keep talking hoping our distracted “listener” will jump back in at some point of our “conversation”. I’m well aware of this dance because I do it all the time. And for anyone reading this just know that I’ve “NEVER” done that with you. ;)

As I dwelled on how distracted I was even writing that last two paragraphs, I began to “wonder” (that’s code for being distracted) how often I am truly present with people. I realize how annoying it is when someone isn’t present with me, but it made me think of how truly rude I’ve been during conversation with friends, family, my wife, and even my 3-year-old son. Even during these few short minutes I’ve checked Facebook, Twitter, and the instant message chat I’m having with my wife (did I mention how rude I am?). It’s a problem, I know. I don’t like it. I don’t want to be this way. And I refuse to say, “that’s just the way I am”, because I hate (that’s so harsh…..how about “strongly dislike”) that phrase when applied to things I can change but choose not to.

But all this talk about being distracted and how I’m not fully present even with my own family made me wonder (again, code), “Is this how I am with God?” I had to ask myself, “Am I present with God?” I think of all the times I’ve fallen asleep praying in bed, on the floor, on the couch, standing up, in the car (that last one is true and I hate to admit that). And then I’m like, “I’m an idiot! How can I ever be truly connected with God if I’m not even present with Him?” Then to add insult to injury God shows me this passage in Hebrews.

“In the days of his flesh, Jesus offered up prayers and supplications, with loud cries and tears, to him who was able to save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverence.” (Hebrews 5:7)

The part that stuck out to me was “and he heard because of his reverence.” Who heard? God heard. Why? Because of his reverence. Who’s reverence? Jesus’ reverence.

So, because of Jesus’ reverence, because of his deep respect and devotion toward God the Father, God heard his prayers, humble pleading, cries and tears.

God heard Jesus’ prayers because of his reverence. If this is true then it implies something here. That maybe there are times when God doesn’t hear us. I know that doesn’t sound right. But the Bible is filled with the evidence that shows God doesn’t listen to all of our prayers for one reason or another. And I began to wonder, with all that is going on in my life, that maybe He’s not hearing mine because of my lack of reverence. Maybe he isn’t listening to me because I’m so distracted by everything else in my life that it’s caused a disconnect between Him and me. I don’t want to admit this, but the more I think about it and the more I study it, the more I believe the convicting truth that maybe God isn’t listening to me.

Often times God tells His people to shut it down. Shut the doors, shut the noise, shut your mouths, and stop giving me lip service. He tells His people time and time again that we should fear Him, revere him, and honor Him. And not with our words, not with our noise, but with our hearts, with our minds, and with our actions. And honestly, I can’t say I’ve been doing that. I want so badly for Him to give me clear direction, yet I’m so completely distracted by other things I don’t even give adequate time to revere Him. I am not fully present with Him nor do I truly realize my dependency on the fact that He deserves all of me and my response to that is, “here’s 5 minutes, God. I’ll try to squeeze you into my schedule if there’s time.” Jesus realized His dependency. He realized it in the days of his flesh. My prayer is that I can too.

To be continued……