Three Months and Two Days

It's literally been three months and two days since my last rambling. I noticed that I had drafted five different posts, but none of them surfaced. I didn't publish any of them because I didn't want to scrap some thoughts together just to get it out there. I read them this morning and was glad that none of them made it through. I couldn't make sense of half of them and the other three just seemed forced. So here I am still not sure of whether or not I'll make any sense by the end, but here goes nothing.

No matter how busy, I always try to make time to read. I can't say I'm a "reader" per se, since to be considered a reader (a real one) I think you kind of need to be smart and your personal lexicon must exceed at least three words (I have none) that are not commonly used by the average person. I personally know of such thing that exists within me, but it's in my attempt to make sense of what I read that I believe God teaches me things and uses it to correct me. It's odd since I spent most of my days in school avoiding books. I've even gloated about how much I hated reading and occasionally made fun of those who enjoyed cracking open a 500 page novel just for fun (I thought back then the words 'fun' and 'reading' should never go together). I often wondered if someone like this had a life (rude, I know). Now, I sit here with three books in my bag and a pen to underline and highlight parts I want to remember (what a hypocrite). I wished that reading was something I enjoyed earlier in life. It would have helped me out in those awkward and embarrassing moments when reading aloud in front of peers. Talk about wanting to get away.

I wanted to share something that I read the other day that meant a lot to me. Author, Josh Harris says, "I've come to see that you can limit God in different ways. You can limit him by thinking he can never work in spectacular ways. But you can also limit him by thinking that only the spectacular is meaningful" (Dug Down Deep).

I tend to be an optimist by heart. I like to see potential (for the most part) in people and situations. I know this can also be labeled delusional, but nevertheless I tend to see hope in all things. My difficulty has been expecting God to work only in a spectacular fashion. It's as if only the spectacular is meaningful like the author states. What I've done is limited my view. It's hard to see things when you're so close to them. I always want God to show me spectacular things because then I'll know they're from Him, but I'm realizing that just because there isn't something spectacular happening, it doesn't mean God isn't in it. It doesn't mean God isn't showing me something and it doesn't mean God won't use it to teach me. It reminds me of when the prophet Elijah was so frustrated and wanted to God to show him in a spectacular way that He would still keep His covenant to Israel when things looked so grim. Looking for some kind of sign Elijah prays for God to show him in a spectacular way............but he doesn't. God simply uses a gentle whisper to make Himself known. It's in the non-spectacular way that I believe God does some of His most amazing work. It's having the patience to actively wait on Him that is most troubling for me. Maybe for you as well.

God, open our eyes to the things unseen.......especially the things that aren't spectacular so that we don't miss what you're doing in our midst.