I Am Troubled....But So Are You.

Yesterday I taught at my friend’s church and thought I decided to teach on the issues that we all struggle with and how to struggle well in this life. I believe that the question isn’t whether you struggle, but how you struggle (i.e. well or poorly). I said I decided to teach on this subject, but it seemed to me it was God’s bidding all along. The church was currently in a series on The 12 Steps, which is based on a recovery program for those who are addicted to a substance or simply feel controlled by something outside of themselves. When I left that afternoon to head home I realized that God works in amazing ways often that go unnoticed (especially by me because I’m slow). I’m sure I could have just chosen to teach on something else, but it seemed like God had a plan all along that didn’t include running things by me (He tends to do this quite often). And then I kept thinking about the message I shared and how God is still teaching me even two days later. I kept dwelling on a word and the meaning for a few weeks now, which is weird because I know what it means and have known for quite some time. It’s this word “iniquity”. All it means is a bend towards something. It doesn’t mean sin, but it can. All it really means is a bent towards something that can lead us to sin. It can lead us, but not always. I believe that the most pressing thing in my life has been to discover, address, acknowledge, and confront my iniquities head on because for so long I’ve chosen to ignore them and/or let them dictate my actions.

I had a conversation last night about how important it is to have someone that knows your iniquities just as much and maybe even better than you. My first thought is that it’s really scary to even imagine. But I believe when James penned the verse in 5:16 that we should confess our sins to one another, he wasn’t saying so that people will have something to hang over our heads when we eventually stab them in the back. I believe he said it because he understood being “fully known” by another human being. I think he knew the purpose of community. I believe he knew his iniquity and had done everything he could possibly think to not fall into it and had failed miserably. I think it wasn’t until then did he realize we were never supposed to do life alone. We resist that which will bring healing and instead embrace our isolation. It’s like having a gaping wound in our soul left unattended that we think we can just hide. We all know that a wound left unattended, often leads to infection if not something worse.

Psalm 38:18 says, “I confess my iniquity, I am troubled by my sin.” What an honest confession? Some may think that simply confessing their sins to God will change things and then you won’t struggle anymore. I’m sure this happens, but it hasn’t fully happened to me. I believe David confessed his sins all the time to God and was still troubled by them all the days of his life. But I also know he was straightforward with people and did not hold back sharing his failings. There’s a lot of vulnerability in doing such a thing. I mean, David shared his iniquities in Scripture and if someone opened up my journal for the whole world to see, I’m not sure I’d be too happy (don’t get any ideas). But then again, maybe I would. I had someone tell me Sunday that they were “finally” found out by his friends and family that he was the liar. He knew he was but they had no clue until the house he built on lies came crashing down around him. He said it was the worst and best thing that could have happened to him. He didn’t know what to call this great feeling, but I believe he finally experienced freedom. Not freedom from his iniquities or sins, because those don’t just go away, but definitely freedom from bondage if only for a moment. We think that if nobody knows our issues and struggles then it’s all good, no worries, life is good. But is it? I don’t think so. It’s a pretty good lie, but it’s never without consequences. I think his guilt had weighed so heavily on his shoulders and caused his gut to wrench that he couldn’t hide anymore, but never shared it with someone. So, instead he gets caught. I think more people want this to happen then most would lead you to believe. I believe the reason why is that it’s the easy way out. I mean, it’s not easy. It’s never easy. I think it really was the worst thing for him and some of those friendships may never be mended, but I think it’s more difficult and even scarier to actually admit your iniquities and sins to someone else before you’re found out. I think it takes more courage and humility than I know I have. I also know that people “feel” like they don’t have someone to tell. They feel like they’ve tried and people have run away. I know this because I’ve said these things. The reality is that I never really tried, I never sought out a community of people I could walk with, I never sought out biblical counseling, and I chose to ignore placing myself under strong biblical teaching because it that would have been too difficult. It wasn’t until I realized it that I began to experience true healing. I’m still going through that process. Sometimes it slower than I’d like, but God is faithful and just, He’s merciful and gracious and I’m only beginning to experience the overflow of His grace in the dark areas of my life.

So, how are you struggling? That was the question I asked on Sunday. Not whether or not you struggle, because if you think you don’t then you’ve just entered into another level of lying to yourself. Are you struggling well or are you struggling poorly? Something to think about, huh?

Pet Peeves

Pet Peeves

There are many things in this world that bother me. I know this sounds like a strange sentence to begin with, but hear me out. I am known (by my wife) as a chronic complainer. I complain about way too many things including things that are unnecessary. I don’t know where I learned this, but I am trying very hard to stop. Nevertheless, I’ve compiled a list of things I complain about that I believe are valid and the majority reading this blog would agree. So, for pure fun and enjoyment I decided to post some of my pet peeves. Some I’m more known for, others are probably new to you and now you’re going to be self-conscious around me because some of you may or may not do these things. Either way it’s all in fun and I’m sure I’ll hear your complaints later.

This list is not in rank order.

• Using the word “quote” instead of “quotation” (e.g. “Allow me to read this quote from the L.A. Times.” The proper use is, “Allow me to read this quotation from the L.A Times.”) If you don’t believe me just look it up.

• Using the word “podium” when you mean “lectern”. Strictly speaking, a podium is a raised platform on which you stand to give a speech; the piece of furniture on which you place your notes and behind which you stand is called a lectern. I know we have culturally accepted the former to mean the latter, but now that I know the difference I can’t help but be bothered when someone uses it incorrectly. Sorry.

• Incorrect spelling of “grammer” instead of “grammar” (also, “incert” instead of “insert”…..this one just seems ridiculous, but I’ve seen it way too many times).

• Writing the word “your” when you mean “you’re” (i.e. you are a moron!).

• Throwing an additional “s” for possessive nouns ending with an “s”. (e.g. Silas’s instead of Silas’)

• I’m guilty of this one more often than not, but it bugs me when I do it.

• “Really realize”….I just despise this phrase (e.g. “I really realize that I sound like an idiot when I say such ridiculous things.” Instead, just say, “I realize now that I would sound like an idiot if I were to say such nonsense.”).

• Using any percentage beyond 100% (e.g. “They always give 110%.” It is impossible for anyone do such a thing so stop saying it!)

• Saying things like, “ATM machine” or “PIN number”.

• Relying on someone else to take a picture of you with you camera and it ends up off centered and out of focus.

• Messy sick people. Sick people are bad enough, but messy sick people make me angry……..ok….maybe not angry, but I definitely want to punch you in the face. :)

• People who preface an offensive statement by saying the phrase, “I’m not trying to be mean but…(insert offensive statement).”

• People who leave messages on voicemail like, “call me back.” I would have but now I’m not just for leaving such a ridiculous message.

• Using the made up word “supposebly” instead of “supposedly”. (Really?)

• People who type in CAPS. Why must you YELL?

• Any telemarketer….for reasons that don’t need explanations.

• Amateur cell phone drivers (I know it’s illegal but still!).

• People who think your time is their time too.

• Pedestrians who carelessly walk in the street and think my car won’t injure or cause them bodily harm. Last time I checked large machinery beats human beings every time.

• Websites with horizontal scrolling (so stupid).

• When the cashier gives you the change with the coins on top of the bills and for a moment you look like a fool jamming a large wad of nonsense into your pocket. (This one bothers me a great deal.)

• People who do not know how to use a self-checkout stand.

• Bad breath (I can’t help it if my nose is sensitive).

• People who don’t tip well. (Emphasis on “well”.)

• People who are habitually late. Late every once in a while is fine, but when you’re known for being late it’s a different story.

• People who don’t rinse before putting their dish in the sink. (Lazy!)

• People who always try to bring your conversation back to them, their life, or their kids.

• When the “door close” button in the elevator doesn’t really close the door. What’s the point?

• People who cut in lines where no one is holding their spot. I’m fine if you want to join your friends in line, but blatantly cutting in line with no regard for those behind you is rude.

• People who don’t stop talking. (Seriously….breath!)

• Salespeople who approach you in the parking lot. What’s up with that, stalker? Why must they approach you like they are selling drugs? I don’t want that $4 Kit Kat bar!

I have more but I thought I’d stop at 30 since who has the time to read all of these anyway. If you have some I’d love to hear what bugs you. If you are offended in anyway by this post, please move your cursor towards the top right corner of your screen and click the “X” or for mac users, the red button or "X" on the upper left corner. Hopefully it will solve all of your problems. Have a nice day!